making sense of this world

From last three to four years I am having a bad dream almost daily. When one takes a risk putting every thing at stake, it becomes a nightmare even if one wins. And I have taken too many. Perhaps enough to keep me awake all my life.
Trying to practice typing daily, but the time does not permit.I think I need a coach or a personal trainer and definitely a personal assistant to help doing all my scheduled works.
Today I discovered an online software to tag part of speech and it will definitely help me write better, grammatically.
Much needs to be done on spelling and structure of sentences needs to be looked upon.

My heart is not happy, in this barren city
Who has ever felt fulfilled, in this mortal world

Please tell my wishes to go away somewhere else
There is not enough room for them in my sorrowful heart

I had requested for a long life of four days
Two were spent in praying/wishing and two were spent in waiting

How ill-fated Zafar is! For his own burial
He couldn't even get two yards of earth in land of the beloved.

I hate lectures, I hate restrictions.I dont know what they call success.I have a question I seek the answer.Let the question come up in my mind.Dont Force feed me.I am different because I am BISWAJIT.I am not working for myself.I want the Indian Prime minister to be able to put his hands on the shoulders of America's in a friendly manner (as the American does) one day, if he wants to.I have no desires (yes, I want to win a particular prize) but after all I am not God.Please understand.I am in no hurry to prove anything to anyone. I know myself well.That is the end of the story.

No wait: I am not so serious type as I seem to be, seriously :-)

When I was a child, there used to come a magazine named "Parag'.It once contained an article on the importance of writing a diary. I tried many times to maintain one, but always failed. There was always something to keep my mind occupied else my dream to become a scientist would have failed.When the task at hand itself was not completed ever, how could I ever find time for writing all the events that happened in my life.
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Today when I am about to complete my course work for Phd programme, I feel I should slow down a bit, give time to do sth which I always missed.The hunger to know all is still there, but I have become a bit more practical.I have realised it is of no use to try acquiring as much data as you can , because the right way to have a problem and then try solving it .All the learnings should happen in the process.So I have a relaxed mind and find myself in a position to write.
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My room-mate had a dream to become rich. The main purpose of his wish was to have a girlfriend.He used to abuse his father for not being rich enough so that he could enjoy life. I heard to his version of 'Rich dad poor dad' and apologise or not having read the book till date.
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So, my every exam was a kind of torture.

Profile of the girl who died in air-crash

one can either be a boyfriend or beat all of them in life. one has to be ready to accept an emotionally nonvirgin girl if one wants to suceed in life. ready to forget her past and live in the present...whether she does it or not..ultimately success matters.

and most importantly. one should ask if she has a boy friend already,it never came to my mind.(written emotionly so langauge is poor, sorry)